***ATTENTION THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS! CALM IT DOWN***

Every family has that one Uncle that you’re not entirely sure about. And last weekend I realized that my brother, whom I love, may be that Uncle. 

Last weekend, my 5 year old reached an important milestone on her journey to becoming the very best. All on her own, she reached Level 5 in PokemonGo! And like any good parent, I explained to her what the next step on her journey entailed. I explained how on our next trip to a Pokemon gym she would be prompted to choose a team; Red, Blue, or Yellow. She was excited, because she recognized them as the primary colors. I then told her their names and added which teams mommy and daddy had chosen. Mommy chose team Mystic and Daddy (Bless his heart) chose team Valor. She thought about it and made a very wise choice. Team Mystic. 

But unbeknownst to me a snake was in my nerdy garden.

My brother knowingly influenced his niece by talking her into choosing Team Valor. Just like an Ekans. When she previously told me she was settled on the glorious and majestic Team Mystic. 

How could I have let this happen? My heart broke when she looked at the screen and said, “I want to be on the red team.” On the outside I supported her choice, but my heart was crying, “Nooooo, not my baby! She’s been misguided, just like her father.”

I questioned my existence. What has become of my family? All around me there is red. . .red everywhere! Then like the Arbok he is, in slithers my brother rubbing his hands together, “Good job niece, excellent choice. Team Valor is pleased.” He gloated with a grin on his face. I pulled him aside.

“You!”, I pointed my finger accusingly, “You did this, you knew she had chosen team Mystic, how could you?”

“I had to have a talk with my niece, we can’t have her falling in with a loosing team”, he smirks.

I try to sound cheerful as I return my attention to my child, “Let’s call daddy, he’ll be so happy about your new team.”

My NinjaBaby looks into my eyes and can see the heartbreak deep under my happy façade.

“Mommy I change my mind, I want to be on team Blue.” She fruitlessly presses on the Valor team emblem, willing it to change to no avail. “Mommy it won’t let me change it, I want to be on the blue team with you!”. I sigh and smile, “Baby the red team is a wonderful team. It’s daddy’s team, you get to be on team Valor with daddy. That’s awesome!” 

“No, I want to be with you on the blue team!” Frustrated tears start to well in her eyes. 

“Oh honey, no it’s nothing to be sad about. Let’s call daddy ok, mommy is excited for you really. We can go train your Pokemon at all the Valor gyms. And mommy can battle. It will be fun.”

“But I don’t want to fight you! I want to be on the blue team! Why can’t I take it back?” She whines and buries her face in my dress.

I hold her tight and rest my chin on her head telling her, “Sometimes we make choices and we just have to be ok with them, we can’t always take them back. But you didn’t make a bad choice honey.” I look up and see my brother, I cut my eyes at him. 
Addressing his niece he excitedly says, “Hey, you and me. We can go on Poke-walks together! Cool?”

She turns and looks at him and calmly says, “ok, but I’m on team blue with mommy”.

“Sure kid, sure”, he rolls his eyes and smiles.

I look on, still salty. . .still mad. I harbor the belief that my brother may be a covert Team Rocket operative. 

*If you’re in my family, I apologize for possibly giving you a heart attack. 

“But it was funny right?”

                    -Martèn